So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
