Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
