It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
