dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
