My nipple is on Facebook.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Someone stole a lamp last night.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
