How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
