Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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