so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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