Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
