I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
You can't motorboat a personality
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
