Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
