I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Randomize
