I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Randomize
