I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
