sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
