I'm lost and stupid without you.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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