Who wears a wallet chain?!
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
