Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Randomize
