I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Randomize
