Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
