spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I just want nice things and good sex
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
