You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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