Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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