whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
