i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
