May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
