Your mouth is God's brothel.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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