hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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