oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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