Porn is love you can see.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I woke up under a house in Key West
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
