Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
