I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
