I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
handjob tips. give me some.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
