why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
