the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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