i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I am spending my child support on dildos
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
