Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
