Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
