The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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