how hairy? two words: wookie tits
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
