Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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