I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
