I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
