All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
FUCK WHALES
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