Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
