This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
