dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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