apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
