At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
did you just send me my own nude
this is an emotional support booty call
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
