I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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