Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Randomize
