About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
